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I am content

Contentment, by definition means to be in a state of happiness and satisfaction (google definition). Yet one can be content without being happy, which I’ve always found odd. ^_^ Back in the day, I was often content without being happy. Nowadays, I’m both, but what I feel more often than not is… content. I think that I use this word rather than happy because I’m pedantic like that. Happiness to me is a blissful state where nothing is wrong with the world and everything is right. It’s fleeting. I don’t think one can be happy for very long. So I use content.

Like, happiness comes in small doses, I think. It bursts inside someone like fireworks and is gone just as quickly. I was happy when I got married, ecstatic that everything worked out and that people enjoyed the wedding I’d worked so hard to make happen. And I was happy again when we went to the Grand Canyon and I looked out over the incredibly beautiful sight that is the Grand Canyon, something I’d always wanted to see. And, of course, I’ve been happy many many times since. But as mentioned these moments of happiness are… fleeting. As they should be.

I don’t think we’re supposed to be happy all the time. Just as we’re not supposed to be sad all of the time. If I’m suddenly happy all of the time, then I know it’s time to call my psychiatrist because I’m probably manic. Yeah, I tend towards the euphoric side of mania before I go towards white hot rage. Neither are fun because I’ll spend myself into the ground while everything is right and beautiful with the world. And white hot rage isn’t fun for anyone. Don’t worry, dear reader, I’m feeling much better now. I’m on good meds. Haven’t been manic (or depressed) in years.

So yeah, I’m okay with content. Content is nice. And I’m glad that I’m in a spot where I can be relatively happy with my life. Now, some would posit that because I say that I’m content then I’m “settling”. Because we live in a society that teaches that we need to chase happiness and live life to its fullest. And to that I say, Screw that noise. If that’s the way someone wants to live their life, I’m not gonna stop them. You do you, as they say. Go chase rainbows and live your life to the fullest. But if I say I’m content, then let me be. Each has their own way.

Anyway, that’s the positive feeling I get most of the time. Contentment. Thank you for reading my rambling, dear reader. I do appreciate you taking the time. Take care of yourself, and I’ll chat at you later.